My little thoughts...

All of a sudden, this thought came to me... Should i have made the decision to leave in July? Should i have not defer my studies? Maybe if i decided to leave earlier, such a thing would not happen.. Maybe if i decided to leave sooner, we would not be spending time trying to solve such a matter that should not have happened.. Or maybe, HISTORY IS REPEATING ITSELF, that i need to go through this again before i go overseas.. Can't i just have more happy moments before i freaking leave?

We started off as band mates together, then became classmates.. Over the years we got closer, then we kinda split, then we got closer again.. Now, our friendship is being put to the test.. I would have to say that all 3 of us has contributed to what has happened today.. During secondary school days, we were close, but often the two of you cannot go out till late and stuff as you girls have parents who are more strict than mine.. But i totally understand and accept that fact... Hence i usually spend my time out with the band guys... But still, we had many fun moments together be it in school, during lesson, during band or even out of school.. All the bubble tea moments, the days we would compete whose section is better, getting scolded by Mr DELIBERATELY and stuff... Yes, we were having the time of our life...

Then, we all moved on, you 3 went to JC, i was the only one in Poly.. We really drifted apart.. I do not know whether you 2 felt the same, but i felt so alone in this world for that period of time cause i simply LOST 3 of my best friends in a snap... I survived with this for more than a year, then i finally got closer to both of you again... Though close, we do not often meet up...

There are various times when i ask you all out, but due to all of your busy schedule, the plans never worked out.. Lisa, you were really busy with school and your jc besties.. Charity, you were really busy with school and church... That is totally understandable... But after planning and planning, then getting rejected and rejected, i had to admit i felt really sian of planning... If you girls noticed, when you girls plan to go out, i will ask you all to plan then tell me the details... Matter of fact, i was sick and tired of planning, and getting rejected...

But i learn to accept it, and have since moved on.. I KNOW that you girls are busy, so when we can't meet, it is normal, but when we really meet, it is a real joy to me... Before i left Shanghai, i am grateful for all the times you girls sacrificed to be with me... When i came back, you girls strated to be busy wit exams and after that we started to meet up again.. When i was very troubled and down, two of you came to me and gave me the support that i needed..

Charity, you are often busy with your church stuff since secondary school days.. Even though i am not a Christain, i respect your faith in God and the committment that you have.. Often, i would ask you two to go out, but you would have alot of commitments and at the end of the day, only left with lisa and i.. After a while, it became a known to me that you would be busy and i slowly, but UNKNOWINGLY started to forget to call you out as i felt that you would be busy with Church stuffs again... You are also very close to your church friends like Bernice, Rachel and more.. I remember you once told me that no matter how close we girls are, you always feel that they are closer to you.. *BAM* This hit me hard, but nothing wrong right? I mean, you have known them for such a long time, way before you knew Lisa or me, its natural for you to be closer than them... And there was this perios of time when we would plan when to go out and stuff, already confirmed... Then few days down, you would call or sms to say you are busy and stuff and in the end we kena pang seh.. Not once, nor twice, but a few times.. I will admit this pissed me off as i was looking so forward to meeting you all, but the plan has to be cancelled... Because we kena pang seh, only left Lisa and me, so just the two of us go out.. After a while, it became a habit unknowingly..

I am NOT trying to explain nor self-redeem.. I am asking ALL of us including myself to think about how we have contributed to the problem.. I am frustrated that things has turned out this way.. Lisa and I came today, wanting to settle it fast cause you told me before that you like to settle things fast... We called, knocked and waited, but i guess you were just too pissed to reply or call us back..

Whether or not this friendship is still important to you, its in your hands.. To me, it is VERY VERY important, too important that no words can express,.. I WANT to settle things fast, but do you? I have lowered my wall, to apologise and wanting to make an effort to change, would you give us the chance? Lisa and i have so much to say, but are you willing to listen?

I am pissed, yet upset at the same time.. I don't know how i am really feeling, but all i know is that, you, Charity, is not a BEST friend i want to lose.. NEVER.

Lisa, you too, a BEST friend that i would NEVER want to lose..

I CANNOT imagine if i ever lost any of you, can you?

Dedication to Ian...

Many years have passed and i have known this guy since secondary school please.. We have been friends since secondary 2 till now and i have decided to dedicate this entry to him as he did one for me... =)

Year 2002:
We were nominated to become counsellors and we had to attend some leadership program thing.. So that is when we all got started and i knew him as a friend, in fact, i knew him as an Indian Dancer.. Hahaz... We were playing some teamwork game that involved ropes and we are all entangled, so he decided to be the Indian Dancer and started to hop around to get all of us untangled.. It was really funny and I can still remember the fun that we had, laughing our heads off...

Year 2003:
We were both nominated to become Executive Committee members of the Student Council.. Ian was the Noble Secretary while i was the loan shark (Treasurer).. Due to some events, my position changed to the Vice-president... So we worked really closely in the council and we started to get closer as friends.. Went out for meals, happenings, plan events, meetings and stuff.. Soon after that, we started to take tuition together and were really close... Lisa, Ian and I were the three musketeers! Hahaz...

At the later part of the year, Ian also joined the band and that made all of us EVEN closer please... It was like, we were all stuck together during school and after school... Life was just so interesting and fun! We also worked together to gossip about the teachers we do not like and plan attacks on them which never ever happened... Hahaz...

Year 2004:
The peak of my secondary school life and i am glad to share it with him... We were all so into band that we worked so freaking hard for that darn gold award for the Singapore Youth Festival competition... I remember him playing the baritone saxaphone which looked like a tenor saxaphone on him... Hahaz.. Those days where we would chiong down after school, grabbing cup noodles as lunch before heading down to the holding Ping Yi Secondary School... Then after band we would have dinner together with my god sons and we would have so much fun!!

We were also very busy with council work as we had many events to plan and stuff... We were involved in band all the way till National Day Performance then we stopped and got ready for our O'levels examinations..

Year 2005:
We chose the same course and went to the same polytechnic.. It was such a coincidence but i am glad i made the right choice.. Yeah!! Hahaz.. So we were in the same course for full 3 years but never once got into the same class, thouch we were always in the same lecture group for the full 3 years..

Year 2007:
Internship... As what Ian said, i decided to give it a try since he applied for it.. And i really got it.. We have put in so much effort to get our asses there!!

When i was there, i was really emotional as i could not cope.. But i was glad that he was there and gave me the emotional support when i needed it... The closeness between us is indescribable to me... We are very close, NOT like boyfriend and girlfriend, but like siblings, like best friend to the max... He was really my pillar of strength when i was there... Thank you my friend...

I remember your schedule was more similar to Pei Lin, but no matter how you two still did your very best to include me into your outings so that i do not feel left out... The many fun, laughter and joy we had... I am thankful for the times you stood by me when i needed that support, i knew that you always have got my back... You have mine too friend...

Remember going shopping at Yuyuan, Qi Pu Lu, waking up at 7am to eat Xiao Long Bao during winter, making jokes about brocolli, doing housework, going gym, slacking in the room the whole day and so much more?! Hahaz.. Life in Shanghai could not get any better without you being there... With you being there as my friend, brother, fashion consultant, chef, dessert maker, housework partner, gym partner, food partner and so much more, what else could i ask for man..

Celebrating my birthday, Christmas and New Year was such an experience and i am glad i had you there to share it with me.. The day we flew back, we still had our celebratory SNAPPLE drink.. Hahaz!!

Thank you for tolerating all my nonsense and me counting down on the days to flying back to Singapore.. I know i have been a emo spider, but you have been great...

Year 2008 to future:
Ever since we came back, we have been meeting for food and stuff.. Going out and having many fun sessions that just makes us live life to the fullest with Lisa...

I know we would have more sessions to come... Though i would LOVE to have you at University of Queensland with me, i know it is not possible.. If only you could go with me, we would explore the country when we are free, have cooking sessions together, go shopping together, have many hee hee ha ha sessions together and so much more... Again, you would be a very important friend in my life, being there to support me when i fall and become emotional, getting me back on track... Speaking of it is already making me so excited, imagining how exciting life would be!! Wha, if you could go, we would at least be school mates for 8 and a half years!!

Now, you are moving on to the next phase of life, army.. I wish you all the best my friend, for you to become and Officer and all. YES i would LOVE, no, i would DIE to go for your commissioning ball, provided i am in Singapore... May you always have luck, proserity, happiness and health to follow you down the future years ahead of our journey...

I am SURE that we have many more happening sessions to come before you enter army and before i fly off.. I just want to say thank you for being such a great friend, brother, chef, fashion consultant and pillar of strength.. Please continue this role yeah? Hahaz...

Thank you for everything, eben if i do not say it often, i believe you know that i have always appreciated your existence.. Smile my friend, life is just going to get better for all of us, especially out hee hee ha ha sessions!! Stay as happening, happy and talented as ever...

Oh, please TEACH me to bake.. We plan s0o0o0o0o0o0o much in Shanghai, but i only learn how to make Kueh Lapis.. Banana and walnut cake or muffin is next on the list!! Love ya loads my friend!! You are the best baker i ever known!! Keep that flame and passion alive cause i admire at how talented you are!! Smiles!!

Birthday Party of Felix!

Well, yesterday was Felix's Birthday Party!! It was a great gathering with the others such as Farzana, my son Khairul, Chang Yuan, Benedict and more... The food was not fantatic, but i guess it is not that bad either... Hahaz.. People's birthday i shall not be evil...

The real partying only started later in the night when we decided to open up the booze baby!! Went to pick Lisa up and we started the partying babe!! We both had a tequila shot each, made by me!!! Hahaz.. Before that i had a cup of Vodka Ruby Red with sprite... But i think the amount i drink cannot compare with the guys man.. Mr Poh and Edwin like had at least 10 Tequila Gold Shots!! And before that, at least 2 to 3 cups of Vodka Ruby Red with Ice-cream Soda... Shortly after that, the both of them were drunk...

Edwin knocked out and Mr Poh was still standing.. But he was drunk.. Hahaz.. I escaped all the drunk fun as i went to Al-ameen with Lisa and we had Naan!! Greedy ah... Hahaz... Then we saw Benedict, Kai Yee and thier friend... Hahaz... Quite funny ah...

After that i walk Lisa back to her place where we strated to take photos as usual and were chatting about everything in life... This is the year for RE-KINDLED love baby!! Hahaz!! You know what i mean ah... =)

So after that Syafiq and birthday boy felix came to fetch me back... Went back, checked on him and he seems fine... So i went down to help clear up and chat around... I kinda learn alot of things... Hahaz... Good or bad, i do not know, but i am glad i did learn new stuffs... Though not all the information i was very erm, comfortable about.. But yeah...

We chat till like 5am then we decided to sleep.. But the room was so cold that i kept waking up sia.. Like every half an hour i would wake up or squirm here and there to cough... Hahaz.. But it was comfortable... Then morning wake up at 8 am, but really woke up at 930 to go eat Kway Chup at Siglap!! Lisa supposed to join us lah, but that pig as usual cannot wake up know.. Hahaz!!

So now i am home... Going to escape theme park for fun!! Have been having such an exciting life that i really do not care that i am still sick!! Hahaz!!

Hello!!

Sorry for MIA-ING...